How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Here!

An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your palms. Or, for those who favor my dulcet tones, take heed to along with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind after I virtually by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to grow to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You might name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about by chance occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the fallacious finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it bought to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a experience by a decade of the unbelievable eventualities and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and regularly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. The truth is I used to be particularly advised, after I bought the ebook deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the components that may doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods by which I did not grow to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capability to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any scenario.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a fairly secure wager that you simply’ll find it irresistible. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be endlessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the ebook and concerning the technique of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the perfect, most satisfying factor I’ve ever finished in my grownup life. When you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really blissful accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.